About Me

BOO! did I get you? is that how computers work? fuck, I always read other people's fun bios on their websites and love when they are super informal, then I read mine and softly weep. How am i supposed to be fun when an EMPLOYER could be looking at this, dear god. Am I too meek to confidently say that I don't care about employers? Please for the love of god employ me employers, but also don't read this part, this part is only for people with septum piercings that live in western mass. Is there anything worse than meeting someone at a party who is a cool down to earth and self-confident artist, and then you link them your website, then lie awake at night imagining them opening the 'about' section to be greeted with a big hefty "MY WORK LIES AT THE INTERSECTION OF REALITY AND CYBERNETIC IDENTITY" and you just imagine them thinking "who the fuck is this person?". At the same time the quaint and self refferential artists websites are ALREADY TAKING OVER, run while you still can! Is there a squarespace template yet that's just called "this one specifically doesn't look like it was made in squarespace"? Jesus H christ I'm one of those guys anyway aren't I. Where am I even going to put this? Like is this just going to be my about me page? where does my cold and soggy cowardice end? maybe I'll just slink back into the dark depths of having a contact form so it looks like I run a shell corporation with 25 employees that read my email aloud to me while they fan me with palm fronds and jerk me off. Is mentioning getting jerked off just an instantaneous red flag? I definitely am never gonna get a teaching job with that. Maybe I can just edit my about page every time I apply for a teaching job, yeah that seems feasible. Maybe every time I meet someone at a party and link them my webiste I just quickly edit my about page to be catered precicesely to what I imagine they imagine is cool. that seems managable enough.